Yea, so, screw conciseness, right? I thought last week’s one-sentence style would be a fun little break from the absolute cinderblocks of song reviews that I usually collapse everyone’s roofs with, but apparently, I must have just bottled up all of my words, because I’m serving up the cinderblock of cinderblocks this week. Get comfy.
Well, it looks as though 2022 has already slipped through my fingers, because this post is already so last year. Sorry about that—I try to prioritize making a post the best it can be over its timing, but I think my philosophy should probably be closer to “quality before quantity, except after consistency,” because the time for resolutions has already wrapped.
Speaking of Wrapped, wrapping season has long since passed over at Spotify. Even their indie, small-town competitor, Apple Music, has its own original spin on this New Year’s stats sheet with Apple Replay. Aw, cute! Keep it up with these fresh ideas, Tim! As an Apple Music user myself (🚩)—and someone who can’t shut up about music, to boot—I’m always hit with that sweet, sweet, social media FOMO every time December rolls around, and I was sheepishly excited that Apple was finally providing their own option for seeing my year in music. What I walked away with, however, was largely disappointing—Apple Replay nails everything Spotify Wrapped has already done, down to its cheugy corporate-hip lingo, and that means it also nails Wrapped’s structural flaws.
Look, I know this is probably the last thing worth getting militant about, and to tell you the truth, my feelings are nowhere near that strong about this. Still, I figured now was as good an opportunity as any to enter my own dark horse into the streaming music recap race (wrolls wright off the tongue. Wrrecap. Wrrrapped. Wrrrreplay)—a real homegrown replay/wrapped situation. So, as 2022 comes to a close (four days into 2023), let’s take a look back at the music that defined my year, and that probably didn’t define yours, but here you are, reading about it, so it’s no skin off my back. Don’t think about it too much.
Alright guys, let’s get serious for a second. I’d like to address something real quick before I get into it here, just before twitter hops on this and starts tearing me to shreds. I think in situations like these, the only solution is to come forward with the utmost honesty, humility, and integrity that I can, so that no one is left in the dark about the situation when the judgments start flying. I know we all come here every Friday to just forget the world and enjoy popular, mainstream, accessible music for twenty minutes, and I know that by breaking this tradition, I have broken your trust as readers, as colleagues, and as family. For this, I am deeply ashamed, but I have already begun my long journey in rebuilding these foundations which we collectively hold sacred, and I hope my coming forward about this issue will be the first brick laid. Because, as I’m sure you’re all aware, last week’s Songs of the Week was on September 30th, yet on its banner was emblazoned a lie, loud and proud: a release date on the 23rd. Shameful, I know— a monument to my fallibility even as a public figure, unable to be undone because nothing can be deleted on the internet. And I know what you must all be thinking— “what’s next, not using yellow, red, or white as the title font color? Have we forgotten our allegiance to the proud nation of San Diego?” To— uh… to that I say… to— um… shit.