Honestly, I don’t know why I try to stick to a regulated regimen of change when it comes to this stuff—maybe it’s worth practicing professionally, but nobody’s holding me to announcing the most minute shifts in my format like it’s some kind of White House press release. All this to say, I’m trying something new with this one, so save it for the history books. While wine tasting analogies aren’t typically made in situations where reviewers are being more accommodating, I thought it might be fun to introduce a “Pairs Well With” section to each song. If you’re on the fence about trying a new song but don’t know if it fits your vibe, making playlists with these songs and need a good transition, or just want to feel like someone who says “mouthfeel” un-ironically, this section should hopefully be a useful and fun addition. Let me know in the comments if you’re liking it or not, though—I’d love to have some feedback. I can foresee this being an overwhelming feature given that it triples the amount of songs per post, and if there’s one thing these almost 10-page weekly ramblings need, it’s extra fat. My sentences are already well insulated enough.
Well, it looks as though 2022 has already slipped through my fingers, because this post is already so last year. Sorry about that—I try to prioritize making a post the best it can be over its timing, but I think my philosophy should probably be closer to “quality before quantity, except after consistency,” because the time for resolutions has already wrapped.
Speaking of Wrapped, wrapping season has long since passed over at Spotify. Even their indie, small-town competitor, Apple Music, has its own original spin on this New Year’s stats sheet with Apple Replay. Aw, cute! Keep it up with these fresh ideas, Tim! As an Apple Music user myself (🚩)—and someone who can’t shut up about music, to boot—I’m always hit with that sweet, sweet, social media FOMO every time December rolls around, and I was sheepishly excited that Apple was finally providing their own option for seeing my year in music. What I walked away with, however, was largely disappointing—Apple Replay nails everything Spotify Wrapped has already done, down to its cheugy corporate-hip lingo, and that means it also nails Wrapped’s structural flaws.
Look, I know this is probably the last thing worth getting militant about, and to tell you the truth, my feelings are nowhere near that strong about this. Still, I figured now was as good an opportunity as any to enter my own dark horse into the streaming music recap race (wrolls wright off the tongue. Wrrecap. Wrrrapped. Wrrrreplay)—a real homegrown replay/wrapped situation. So, as 2022 comes to a close (four days into 2023), let’s take a look back at the music that defined my year, and that probably didn’t define yours, but here you are, reading about it, so it’s no skin off my back. Don’t think about it too much.
Hey everyone! I’d normally have two things to apologize for, but since I’m working on not doing that, I’m going to only apologize for one. I am sorry for the absence last week— as you may notice, the shriveled dong banner art was made pretty close to this post releasing last Friday before that fell through. I am not, of course, sorry for the shriveled dong banner art. It’s art, okay? Be mature. There’s nothing funny about a man’s little brother. Look, nudity is obviously a metaphor, okay? And should be destigmatized anyways. We’re all grown ups here. Jeez. Weirdo.
As a side note, I’m almost glad I’m releasing this a week late— as I’m finishing up writing this, I’m wearing a sweatshirt for the first time since easily March, and you can still smell the cold rain in the air. People outside my apartment are all wearing beanies and red noses, and the edges of leaves are starting to fade to yellow, and that can only mean one thing: I am becoming more powerful. I never intended for these to be listened as playlists because they can be so eclectic at times, but this one is smooth listening no matter the order because the equinox creeps ever closer, and my cognitive capabilities are only increasing. Soon, I will unlock the hallowed secret of work-life balance, and as the veins on my temples crackle out like lightning and my brain inflates to Hindenburg proportions, there will be no one left to stop my ascension. Okay, songs, here we go: